Kirsten: ‘We set each other free, freer than ever’

“When I saw Marco at Tivoli, I immediately fell in love with him. In appearance, type, appearance, he was completely my husband. And then he also turned out to be a biologist and musician. I did not dare talk to him myself., So my boyfriend sent up to him. ‘She likes you’, such a classic, yes. Luckily he could laugh at it and a week later he took me on a date. “

“After two years we lived together and had a child. And another. No, we did not get married because I am not very good at rules. Sometimes I went on adventures without saying anything. He knew it, but he never confronted it. Marco knows me so well that he looked at me when I came back from a night on the town. “

“Finally he said, ‘You hurt me with your slings.’ I did not want that at all, because I do not want to hurt him. I want to stay with him and I promised not to be unfaithful again. “Again, we ended up in a big crisis. Marco is not only my partner but also my best friend, and again we felt like we wanted to stay together.”

“He came up with a solution. What if he wanted to do it too? Well, we thought. It quickly turned out that dating is not for him at all and that he would rather go completely out for someone, while for me just is an adventure and the life of my best life is. And that I do not seem jealous at all. I just liked it for him. Special discovery though. “

“The great thing about when the bomb went off is that we finally started communicating openly. We both sought help from a coach at the time. Once we went to couples therapy together, but it turned out to be hell. Marco and I can talk together at least the best with each other, and with the coaches we got to know ourselves much better, which also allowed us to better share what we felt and wanted. “

“I learned that I had to accept my guilt and that it hurt more if I did not say anything because I wanted to save Marco from the pain. The agreements we had did not inspire confidence and now we can do “what we want. as long as we do not hurt the other. With the realization that everything is for now. We are no longer so attached to each other and shout that everything is forever.”

“He’s had a boyfriend for a year or two who lives a bit down the road and I go on dates now and then. My imagination is like a harem with a couple of sweet boyfriends, but that’s not a goal in itself. We letting each other go free in it all That means we live in our nice house with our teenagers and we also have a yurt on a campsite in the green. “

“If one person wants to be in the yurt for a few days, or at a hotel, or Marco goes to his girlfriend, we coordinate it and the other stays home with the kids. Now we give each other that freedom. We give it to the other not to take care of the kids for a while and be available all the time. And we allow each other to experience other forms of love. “

“The kids are now at an age where there is more room for us again. And yes, sometimes we still go out together and it’s super fun, but we also both take space for our own way. That way we find a nice balance in family time and my own time.It suits me so much better.I grew up with a pretty traditional image of love and life.Cheating was really a part of me so I felt very bad for a long time.Because “I still got attention and love and freedom and opportunities? But because the relationship was not open, I could only secretly be myself. It was such a burden. And it really has nothing to do with my love for Marco.”

The nicest and most delicious

“For me, it’s still the same as when I met him. I still think he’s the nicest and the nicest and the nicest man I know. I certainly do not want to give up on him, and fortunately he has that with me too. There I am grateful for it, because I have put him to the test in recent years. The children now also know that we sometimes see others and that our relationship is in a new phase. They should get used to it, but also think “It’s cool that their parents would rather choose this kind of love than turn up. I want the same for my kids. I want them to look at love with an open mind and later confidently find their own path of love.”

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