Marieke: ‘A long-distance relationship turned out to be more difficult than expected’

“According to relationship gurus, sex is the cement between the building blocks of a good relationship, but I now think it’s simpler than that. Or harder if you have a relationship at a distance. The glue in love is primarily in everyday life Drink coffee together, hang groceries at the door in a bag if the person has corona Or cycle past spontaneously with tomcats, because you want to see each other Small shots of love and happiness, which make your everyday life just that little bit more beautiful. “

Immediately in love

“We matched up on Tinder when I was at a hotel in her area with my kids. Wow, she was funny. Seeing, chatting with. When it came to a date, it was immediately serious. This is a good one. , I thought when I opened the door, it immediately became a home date, yes, for corona, and it also turned out to fit us great.

I fell in love right away and it only got worse. Next date was at her house, and almost immediately we coordinated our childless weekends. When we saw each other, it felt like a weekend away, full of romance and the wonder of a new environment and each other. No time for laundry and nonsense, no, we made beautiful day programs for each other and went to museums and restaurants when the lockdown was gone. And we talked and went and laughed. Proud because we could have so much fun with each other even in lockdown time. “

“Seeing each other every other week quickly turned out to be too little, and therefore I often drove east in the other weeks. Always with great pleasure and anticipation. Sometimes we sighed how unfortunate it was that such a spontaneous cup of tea went lost through distance., work and parenting were just not up to me.As much as I wanted and thought I could thanks to my life as a freelancer.Sometimes I stayed a few days, we regularly planned a mini-break in a nice place, and last winter we went and we even skied with our kids for a week. “

Perfect ratio test

“For the first time with five and for the first time seven days together.” As long as it goes well, “she joked, while I was already daydreaming about a house somewhere in the summer. Married at First sight say: a vacation is the perfect relationship test. That week we not only saw it, but we also felt it: it will be no more than this.

With our own customs, our different ways of acting and acting, the focus that goes first to our own family and then to each other. We will never really be a part of each other’s lives, maybe at most in ten years. And it’s not just because of the school-age children. “

“It was clear from day one that we were not just going to live together, but we kept looking for a cozy place between everything or nothing. We arranged, resisted and tried until after two years it was no longer possible. When we got to the point where we both had to take a step to take our relationship to the next level, we both stopped. “

courtship over

Staring at our navel, defending what we needed in our own lives, unwilling to take a giant leap for love. Was it fear? Was it reluctance? I do not know. The phase of dating XXL, even though we called it dating, is over in any case, and there seems to be no going back. “

“Love alone is not enough in the end. It is also about living, sharing the small things next to the big things. And the will to give beyond all that to take. Without arguing and blaming, and with a deep pain in our hearts we said goodbye and thanked each other for the beautiful time. Licking wounds and silent. “

The name Marieke is a fictitious name. Her real name is known by the editorial staff.

Wanted: Love Lessons

For the Love Lesson section of RTL Nieuws Lifestyle, we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, fun, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hands in your bosom. Did you eventually turn out to be the one with a fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love, or did a mixed family prove to be an illusion? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you about it all. You can tell anonymously. Mail to: hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl.

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