Richard will never have a boyfriend again: ‘It’s so hard to find true love’

“It’s so very difficult, if not impossible, to find a girlfriend. I sometimes think people think too easily about it. Sometimes I hear clinchers like, ‘There’s a lid on every pot.’ Or that I find a partner if I do not consciously go looking but it does not happen, I have often had lots of periods where I was not actively looking or dating.I have now come to a point where I never want more of a relationship , even though I wonder if it really makes me happy. “

“I’m a late bloomer, I started dating around my 20s. A lot of the girls from my studio were already taken, and at the pub I had a hard time approaching women, so I did it through the first dating sites that popped up. “at that time. I had no expectations or a picture in my head that I necessarily wanted the familiar house, wood, animals when I was thirty, but it just seemed nice to have fun with someone.”

long relationship

“I once had a long relationship of ten years. It actually went badly between us the last few years. I stayed with her longer because I always thought there was more to it. But we did not fit together. My ex annoyed me, in “her eyes I could not do anything right. Seven years ago we broke up permanently, and since then I have not had a long serious relationship.”

“I’ve now used all the apps and sites that can be found. I’ve also been to dating events. Why it does not work: I have no idea. But if someone already responds to my match or message, then it’s just I ask , if I get an answer, too often I do not hear anything more, and in the rare cases that someone sends a reply, just wait and see if the contact remains funny.

But even though the contact is fun, with humor, interest and depth, it can suddenly be broken. It happens regularly that radio silence follows. Even if it all works out and it comes to a date, many – if not all – women drop out. What’s left is fun for one, two or just maybe a third time. I have never cut off contact with a woman ‘just like that’, not even on an app or website. I can not do that. And if I did, I would say it honestly and explain why. “

crazy fetish

“Over the last few months, I’ve had two dates with two women who initially liked me. But what I suspected happened: they would not continue. So I’m left alone again. These rejections did not. right. bothers me a lot because I saw it coming before rejection used to hurt me.You start to doubt yourself what’s wrong with me, I’m really that weird, I really do not have a crazy fetish that scares women away

I also do not associate with clubs. And if I find it, women like me, but that’s about it. I also attended a singles meeting. I got a lot of reactions at first, but eventually I stood alone again. I think I’ve already tried everything. But always without result. “

“It’s human to want to belong to someone. I also need security, intimacy, weak talk, but also deeper conversations. And all that you do not find with your friends. In my environment, almost everyone is regular. They are married and have a family. That’s why I sometimes feel alone. Fortunately, in the Netherlands you can go to the ladies of pleasure quite easily. “

pure desire

I’m obviously not good at picking up, and with these women I do not have to. I do not get rejected by them and I do not have to worry about not being cute enough. It is then all about lust and feeling someone against you. But it’s not love, I know. The emotional connection I’m looking for is missing. In addition, it costs a fortune. “

“The problem is that women like me, but no more than that. They see me as a kind of brother. In fact, they never say what they think of me directly, probably because they do not want to hurt me. But still it is a rejection , the inevitable ‘I like you, but …’.

If I meet a sweet woman and I dare talk to her, it stops. She’s busy with other things, or has no eyes for me. At least I always have to take the lead, I’ve never been approached by a woman on the street. When that happens, it’s a collector. “

meaningless photo

“Maybe I was not cut out for a relationship, apparently not for a long-term relationship either. I have come to the point that I do not want a boyfriend anymore. Or at least I do: I do not want to exert myself anymore or take initiative, because no matter what I do, the result is still the same.

This decision comes from self-protection, I never want to be rejected again. I also hate the meat inspection of dating. Especially on Tinder. It swipes when you like someone while a picture says nothing. For now I want to be alone and I do not think that will change. “

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Never again?

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