Many people are getting used to dating and going out again. The bars are full of flirtatious people and everywhere you see people walking hand in hand or arm in arm. Only there are also ‘hesidaters’ among them. Wait what? Yes, hesitation is the latest dating trend and it is one to beware of.
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What is hesitation?
When you hear the word ‘hesitant’, you probably think hesitant, which means ‘hesitant’ in Dutch. This is also what one does as ‘hesidates’. When you hesitate, you actually do not feel at all sure about the dates. Are you on a serious date or just because you do not want to waste time? So it’s not a nice dating trend to be with. You go faster that way. And maybe all the time, it will not bring you anywhere.
Remains of the corona pandemic
The dating tendency, to hesitate, was created by the corona pandemic. At that time we lived in rather uncertain times, but also in a smaller social society. Almost everything was online and people could not move on so easily In reality dates. People who were already somewhat anxious when they entered into relationships quickly built up fears of commitment. They are more likely to hesitate whether they should be in a relationship or not.
How to recognize the hesitation
Sometimes it’s obvious if someone is a ‘hesidater’, but that’s not always the case. Fortunately, there are things you can recognize during a date with a ‘hesidater’. Keep your eyes wide open!
1. They are not vulnerable
When someone engages in hesitation, you notice that they are less likely to be vulnerable. One is so very open and sweet while the other withdraws with more sensitive questions. That is clear signthat someone is not ready yet. In a serious relationship, you also want to connect on an emotional level, right?
2. They are less interested
We are sorry, but a ‘hesidater’ is often less interested. You can, for example. note in the way of applying. Maybe someone is slow or curant all the time. Okay, it’s also possible that someone’s busy, but come on† If you really like each other, you are not ‘too busy’ for each other all week.
3. Someone has too many questions and expectations
Maybe you are currently dating (or are you yourself) who is constantly looking for reasons why it does not fit. Uh, oops, it looks like you’re hesitant. ‘Hesidates’ have too many expectations and are a little too picky. Unconsciously, the person simply avoids a relationship because he / she suffers from fear of commitment.
4. Someone reacts in different ways
It is very possible that during dates you will have a very nice, fun time with someone. Only then does the person respond later on WhatsApp short, dry and less interested. Ah! There’s a good chance he’s hesitant.
5. They ignore deep questions
Do you have many dates, but do you go in depth less often? Or maybe you never have really deep conversations with your date. Well, then it might be a ‘hesidater’. Such a person ignores deep questions with a heavier, more emotional undertone. As mentioned before, they are not vulnerable. Something that is obviously important in a serious relationship.
6. They cancel a date at the last minute
Finally, a very clear sign of hesitation: your date is canceled at the last minute. It’s very sad, but somehow your date can not help it. The hesitant may not even know he is hesitating.
Do you find that you or your date are really a ‘hesidater’? Try to be honest about this and still have the in-depth conversation. Of course, you do not want to exhaust yourself (or the other person) by dating someone with whom it does not work anyway. Or maybe someone really needs some time for themselves. Give yourself or your date space and time, no matter how difficult it is sometimes.
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