Thomas van der Vlugt: ‘I dare not jump into a relationship’

This song is about a subject that I have a hard time talking about. Libido. Sex. Looking forward to it. I’m just not really talking about it. You do?
‘Sometimes. I know from a friend that once a month is enough. Well, I do not. ‘

None? So how are you?
“I used to date a lot. I went out looking for women and sex, like a horny, hormonal teenager. Now I’m thirty and I realize: it’s not about sex anymore. ‘

Yes, of course it’s about love. Is it on yet?
‘I’m still dating Merel (winner of The bachelor, ed.). We love each other, so we did not come. We still stick together even though it was hard to do things in secret. The photographers are right outside the door. But you probably know all about it. ‘

Read also: Bachelor winner Merel about Thomas: ‘We have no official relationship’

When I was heavily pregnant with Bobby, the paparazzi were standing by my door.
‘And today, anyone with a cell phone is also a photographer with all the crazy social media accounts. Gossip spreads like wildfire. ‘

I was very kindly offered another entrance to the hospital. The day my contractions were to be induced, I called the hospital to ask when I was expected. The operator was overjoyed with my arrival. I had not even left home before my best friend wrote a text message: it says on Facebook that you should give birth?
“Jesus.”

Today, it seems even harder to me. An image has just been leaked. You’re so trapped.
Merel and I did everything we could to not get caught. No one – not even friends and family – was allowed to know we were together. The bachelor was still broadcast while filming had already stopped months ago. When we were recently on holiday together, we booked two different flights. And yes, even abroad you are on guard.

Should one get used to a relationship?
‘I have a hard time immediately going one hundred percent after someone, even though I’m in love. I dare not jump in, because I do not want to feel pressure to succeed. I deliberately slow myself down. I think you have to get to know each other well first ».

What do you like about Merel?
“She is smart and has a very clear goal in mind. I think it is important that you stand for something and that you help people. Merel is a dentist and has also helped people in developing countries with their teeth.”

Did she immediately look into your mouth?
“Haha, she’s seen in secret the other day, yes.”

I can imagine that it also takes a little getting used to for her. All the media. Everyone has an opinion.
‘She goes through a lot. A negative message always hangs much further than a positive message. I know: Today you are news, a hot topic, but tomorrow you are forgotten. For fun, I sometimes give her media training. She was recently interviewed for the first time. Then we practice in advance. She is very good at answering politically correctly, haha. Better than me. ‘

Are you talking about sex?
‘We’re discussing it. While I really have never done it before. I was too unsure of that. Now that I’m getting older, I’m a little more relaxed about it. ‘

In any case, I have the idea that women talk more about sex than men.
‘I sometimes talk about libido and sex with my girlfriends, then it’s more serious. It’s more fun with men. I also think men are not so quick to admit that they have less sense. The stigma is, after all: men are always in the mood and women, uh … less often. ‘

However, something changes after four stitches. First you think: nothing will ever get in here, let alone out.
‘Well … I can imagine that. In any case, I think that as a single person you can have more sex and a higher libido than if you are in a – long – relationship ».

Also read: This month in A&C: Chantal and Thomas van der Vlugt talk about libido

I have not been single for a long time. After sixteen years, I still think my husband is the nicest and most attractive. But that does not mean I jump on top of it every night.
“I do not always feel like you know either.”

Watch the full interview and shoot with Thomas in the June issue of & C ‘Oh oh libido’, which is now in stores. Or order it here via the & C Webshop.

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