5 things to try before giving up your relationship

Has your relationship been in trouble for a long time and you doubt whether it is better if you break up? So try the following things before giving up forever.

What should you do if you are about to end your relationship?

Breaking your relationship is a choice you do not make from one day to the next. But what should one do when communication becomes an increasing task and one can not be further apart? Maybe the following things will help you reconnect if you’re not ready to let go yet.

Think about your attraction

If the first feelings of love give way to love, the attraction gradually diminishes, and eventually the routine sets in, it does not necessarily mean that you are with the wrong person. What attracted you to the first period when you were still in love with your partner?

And also think about why you fell for your loved one back then. If these are traits that you now find annoying with the other person, your choice of partner was not what it should be at the time.

Either way, if the trip down memory lane has a positive effect on you, you are not ready to pull the plug on your relationship just yet. Do you come to the conclusion that you both want to do the work of breathing into the fire? So go for it.

Also read: Mandy: ‘My relationship is a terrible rut’

2. Be honest with each other

In a period where statements can hit you even harder and you already feel hurt, it’s not nice to tell each other the whole truth. But it can give you answers or insights that will help you decide if this relationship is still worth living. Remember that one cannot read each other’s thoughts. That’s why sometimes you have to put all the cards on the table and tell them how you feel at the moment – even if it’s not nice for your partner to hear.

3. Break fixed patterns

You used to make a cup of coffee for the other person without question or were surprised with a lot of flowers, just to name two clichés. Slowly but surely, the spontaneous, usually small gestures of routine give way. Routines are dangerous because it sneaks in without you realizing it and they are hard to break. Before you know it, you have developed certain patterns in your relationship that cause you to quickly get annoyed with the other person and that you do not feel very much like each other.

To get out of this, you may need to take the first step yourself. The difficulty with this is that you initially do something on your own for your partner without immediately expecting anything in return. If your relationship is good, your partner’s energy will also change. Instead of snapping at each other, one is again open to selflessly doing something for the other person. Whether it’s daily household chores or being there for each other mentally, if you show change, your partner will hopefully do the same.

Also Read: Keeping Your Relationship Fun? 8 things you should avoid

4. Fantasize about the future

How do you see your future if you are honest with yourself? In other words: is your partner still involved, and if not, how are you doing? You may feel sadness, pain or anger. Besides, try to figure out what the feeling is really doing to you. Who knows, maybe you feel relief, or maybe you still feel that you two are created for each other. Either way, it can help you find the right answers.

5. Determine if your past affects your present

There is usually more than one reason why a relationship does not work out. But what does not help is if you put all the negative traits of your partner under a magnifying glass. This is something you often do not (immediately) realize. That you do this may have to do with your past. In fact, we sometimes provoke our partner to treat us as we used to be treated.

Try to look back on such a situation. Your partner is doing something you do not like, but what happened just before that moment? Did you even exhibit negative behavior? Then this is what you need to focus on and change – and the same, of course, applies to your partner. The way you used to handle situations does not always work in an adult relationship.

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Source: Psychology Today, Marriage
Photo: Getty Images

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