Marieke will never have a relationship with the wrong guy again

“Honestly, I loved Ferry’s attention at first. He put me on a pedestal and kept repeating how beautiful and wonderful he thought I was and how wild he was with me. I had been single for nine years when I met him and certainly not urgently looking for a new partner, but he had something special. I met him at a festival in our village, we stood side by side at the bar to order a beer. We talked spontaneously, and his beautiful The first thing I noticed was a big smile. We talked for a long time, then I gave him my number and I went home. I thought I would never hear from it again, I thought, but the next day it started to count on texts. With today’s wisdom I think: if only I had never reacted to it. “

In love

“A week after we met, we had our first date. We took a nice ride on his motorcycle. Ferry had already invited me to the festival, but I said then that I was not brave at all. It became a kind of bet where Ferry promised me it was not scary to get behind. I let myself be persuaded and he was right. The ride was great and I loved being so close to him. We got coffee somewhere along the way. Suddenly he grabbed my hand and it was like lightning. Bam, I was in love. “

“Ferry gave me full attention and immediately came to me while I was right on guard. My ex, the father of my three children, was very domineering and jealous. I hated that, such a man” I would never again. But Ferry was very sweet to me. He would very much like to be with me and let me know that he would take it seriously with me. He was also very sweet to my children, which I thought was very important. “

“Yet there were also things that quickly gave me a strange gut feeling. For example, that Ferry went really fast. After only two months, he fantasized about a big wedding and buying a beautiful house on the water together. My oldest daughter had this before me , she asked me to take care of him. “

“I understood what she meant, but I was in love and thought he was just very enthusiastic. What I thought was crazy was that Ferry always came at set times and went again. He never stayed over, and after three months I did not remember where he lived.When I asked about it, he said that his daughter was autistic and therefore needed that fixed structure.And that she should get used to new people, so therefore I could not visit him yet.I believed it, because why would anyone lie about it? I just thought he was a sweet and worried father. “

Humiliated

“We were together for about seven months when I volunteered to help at an event on King’s Day as a volunteer from First Aid. Ferry asked five times if I really could not come to a parade in his village. I could not, I did not want to be ready until late, but late in the afternoon another volunteer said that a man had asked in to me and asked when I would be there, I asked what that man looked like and showed a picture of the ferry to which my colleague confirmed that he was the one who had asked me. “

“I thought this action was very strange and my colleague then said I could go earlier, it was still quiet. I cycled to Ferry’s village to talk to him and first went into the snack bar to get something to eat. “The owner is a Min acquaintance and we talked a bit. I was looking around the store and suddenly saw Ferry sitting at a table with another woman that I did not know her, but maybe it was his sister or another acquaintance of his.”

“‘It’s my friend,’ I said to my acquaintance. He reacted in astonishment, saying that Ferry was married to that woman at his table. The earth fell from under my feet. There was no autistic daughter at all, that was the reason why he never slept over and I did not come to his house. I felt anger, disappointment, sadness. Then I went to him, I beat him on the back and said, ‘Hey, are you here too?’ “Ferry turned bright red. Then I shook the woman’s hand, who actually introduced herself as his wife. I wished them a good night and walked away. How I felt humiliated.”

Abuse

“Ferry kept texting and calling me after that, it made me insane. So I decided to start the conversation to hear his explanation. Ferry came by and threw it after his company: he could not be divorced, for then his wife would get half But their marriage was nothing, it was a brotherly relationship. He cried tears and asked me to stay with him. He was even willing to leave his wife Now I can take care of myself, but I gave “I felt sorry for him that he had been trapped in a loveless marriage with ‘the witch’ he called his wife for so long.”

“We kept seeing each other, but less often because I needed time and distance to get things in order. Ferry had a hard time accepting that. Then he got angry and I got constant calls and text messages about , that he would see me.It became a fixed pattern: it went well between us for a few weeks, but the moment I did not give him what he wanted – then I had already agreed something with a boyfriend and no time for him – he got annoyed. “

“Slowly I got the feeling that he had me under control. He manipulated me and made me financially dependent on him. I worked but had a hard time financially as a divorced mother with three children. He took advantage of that. Ferry had once bought me one “New TV, a sofa and a telephone. During quarrels, he threw them at me. According to him, I was ungrateful, even though I had never asked for those things. Buying things was something for him to tie me to.”

“One morning we were going to the fair together. In the morning I went for a walk with the dog, I also had to take a shower and have breakfast. Apparently Ferry had written to me again, but I had not seen the messages. Car he started stated, why he gave me such an expensive phone if I did not do something about it. He was completely intimidated and unable to reason. His behavior intimidated me. When he stopped at a gas station and went in to pay, I went quickly “Not a second later I wanted to sit in the car with him. I hurried to the bus station, where I ducked behind a table in the restaurant when I saw Ferry’s car. He was obviously looking for me.”

To pursue

“It was enough for me, I let Ferry know I did not want to see him anymore. Now it had also become clear to me that he did not want to leave his wife, and to be honest I did not need it anymore I was, I was done with him. That’s where the stalking really started. He was driving past my house or work, which I thought was crazy because I was working irregular hours. When I was swimming somewhere with the kids, Ferry suddenly appeared. up there. I went with the dog in the woods, then he was there ‘by chance’ too. It gave me a suffocating and eerie feeling. “

“One day I was talking about it with an agent friend. He asked me if I always moved the same way. I replied that I rode everything by bike. He advised me to check my bike well after, because maybe it was there tucked a GPS tracker in. That night I almost disassembled my bike completely and under my saddle I found such a tracker.It should not have surprised me, but I did not expect Ferry to go that far.It was bizarre . “

“I reported stalking and blocked Ferry’s number. But he kept driving by, both at my house and at work. Then I called him one more time and threatened to tell his wife everything, because I had enough evidence from us. contact. From that moment on, it has become quiet, thankfully. “

“Of course, I often wondered why I kept watching Ferry for a year and a half. It’s hard to explain such a toxic relationship to outsiders. It’s like falling into a trap you feel you can not escape, and there is no way back. And sometimes we would have a good time for weeks, then I would against the better of knowing hope that the misery was over and we could have a good time together. Never again do I want a man who cheats, manipulates and harass me like that. Later I learned via via that I was not his first mistress and he is still trying to hit on women. What a smooth ass he is. Never again will I be the ‘other woman’ I’m not even looking for “It may sound blunt, but my confidence in men is really zero. I’d rather be alone.”

The names in this article have been changed. Marieke’s real name is known to the editors.

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Never again?

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