Anita: ‘He did not think it was necessary to pay maintenance’

“In the Bravo tent, during the Klaxons show, Marcel bumped into me. He offered me three excuses, a beer and a cigarette, and we started talking. I do not remember what we were talking about. In a tent full of people looked at me like I was the only one who mattered and it made an impression. We talked and partyed and that was it. “

Asked to get married

“The next day, when we ran into each other somewhere on the festival site, he joked that I should give my number a third time. In the queue at the bar, he came and stood next to me and said, ‘This is three and I’m going. Now remember your number by heart. ‘ “That night I slept in his tent. We turned out to live in two villages next to each other and go, our relationship was a fact.”

“Our groups of friends came together, and when, after the birth of our youngest, we were finally at the Lowlands with a whole group as usual, Marcel asked me to marry him. In the middle of the tent, at the Editor’s appearance. All our friends were already aware. and I was almost bursting with happiness. We had to save up and have a big party. “

“A couple of exciting years followed. Our eldest son got meningitis and was in the hospital for weeks. Marcel worked very hard for his own company. Suddenly we were ten years longer. He took me out to dinner to celebrate the anniversary of our engagement. , and has posted a whole lot of pictures on Facebook. “

“But the more he shouted that postponement was not an adjustment, the more painful I found it. And shouted on social media that he was so happy for me, but in the meantime we did almost nothing together. Where we initially still dreaming together about what our wedding would look like, our endless engagement ended up being ongoing gag in the group.”

“Marcel wanted me to stay home with the kids, he earned enough for the four of us with his company, and we could also go on vacation to Thailand in the greasy years. And I really liked being there for my kids. I so friends stress in the nursery and with their jobs, cooking on Sundays all week. We did not have that. There was peace and it worked really well for us. “

“But now that our eldest son is studying and the youngest is graduating next year, the cards are different. That wedding never took place. We obviously could not both say we wanted to be that forever. We did not even quarrel about it anymore. “Two years ago, Marcel needed his own place and rented an apartment in the city.”

More often

“Sometimes he sat there and then came back to us. He walked more and more often and stayed longer. When I asked, ‘Won’t you just look up?’ I saw the relief in his face that perhaps made me most sad that he had obviously been with me for a while out of a sense of duty and not because he wanted to.You feel it when someone does not want to be with you more, but when he never said anything about it, I thought it was in my own head. “

“Four months later we broke up. Marcel had found out everything about bird nests, changing to the boys in a house, and what kind of job I could take. He did not think it was necessary to pay maintenance, for the boys are almost out of the house anyway. He gave me the house and a few thousand euros. Suddenly I saw the happy sweet boy from the festival tent split our family life and our love life as a business transaction. “

Lost dream

“We remained friends, he gave me two tickets to Friends of Amstel as a gift and even went with him. After a good sip, we sometimes even shared the bed. But I can not cope anymore. Lately I keep thinking on courtship and what went wrong afterwards What should I have done differently What is my part in this lost dream How sad I feel.This should apparently just be a wedding in front of the stage.I am now 51 and recently started working in a coffee shop around here. All day long I meet nice people and chat. And I know now: nothing tastes as good as my self-earned money. “

Wanted: Love Lessons

For the Love Lesson section of RTL Nieuws Lifestyle, we are looking for beautiful, vulnerable, funny, inspiring and honest love lessons. An insight, a moment of reflection. Preferably with your hands in your bosom. Did you end up being the one for fear of commitment? Should you never have emigrated for love, or did a mixed family prove to be an illusion? Journalist Hanneke Mijnster would like to ask you about it all. You can tell anonymously. Mail to: hanneke.mijnster@rtl.nl.

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