Column 43: My girlfriend and I had a fight with the same man: let the fight begin! | Columns and meaning

When your dating app works on the spot, you can suddenly become the biggest competitor to one of your best friends in the neighborhood…

Latest catch

A good friend of mine, Sabrina, lives exactly three blocks from me. Practical, because we are each other’s sweet idea and we bump into each other every now and then. Also this week. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while so the dating updates flew over me in the middle of the street. She’d had a picnic with one, then kissed another at a festival, and involved another ex who happened to be staying the night. “And I’ve been matched with a nice guy!”, she said.

same man

“Then show it. I’m very curious now!” She proudly showed me the pictures of his Happn profile. But after seeing the first picture, I already knew enough. “Oh shit, I’m a match for him too,” I exclaimed. I better be honest, right? I knew that Sab and I were kind of the same types. We’ve both been single for a few years now and live in the same Happn area, so this doubling up had actually been in the air for a while.

Original opening

“Have you spoken to him yet?” asked Sab, who immediately became less excited. I immediately felt uneasy. The man in question, Timo, had actually already started a conversation. As if I had melted yet, his opening line had been on the hottest day last week. A nice light-hearted and original intro, which was followed by a pleasant conversation. Not the job application kind (what do you do for a living?), but a nice humorous one-two punch. I love it!

fun vs gross

Precisely because it had been such a casual conversation, I wasn’t really involved and even somewhat lax in reacting. And anyone with a little dating experience knows that it makes you extra interesting. So Timo had already appeared a few times on his own. We had a fun bond: also very rare in dating land. With Sab, the conversations were a little more difficult. I guess she’s on too much of it, but Timo was sharp and slow with her, she said. It was just days before he came up with an answer. Not fun and usually not the type to ask you on a date. I’ve seen them so many times myself, but now it felt extra stupid because it seemed like we were in a competitive match. Me vs Sab.

Completely different types

A special match. Me white and blonde, Sab half Spanish, toned and with a huge head of black curls. In other words: Timo did not have one type. However, he was one type for both of us. And it is that he and I got along so well, otherwise I would have given Sab to him long ago. Still a kind of ‘women’s code’. Plenty of fish in the pond. But I decided to wait and see what he came up with. So what do you think? Not much later he suggested we go for a drink. I almost didn’t dare tell Sab!

Competitive match

“Seriously?! I already asked him yesterday if he wanted to have a drink with me and I’m still waiting for an answer.” Sab was mad and I understood her. Usually in the dating scene you already feel like you have to compete with the world, and now she was experiencing it up close. And no matter how nice Timo seemed to me, it didn’t feel right. I withdrew from the fight. “You know what, I’ll leave it at that. You go on a date with him”, I suggested.

one night Stand

And she did. After a lot of pushing and pulling, Sab had gotten him this far. They had been drinking, kissing and he had slept that night. “He was so sweet and so handsome, Maartje. I had to pinch myself all night to believe he was actually on a date with me.” I was genuinely happy for her. “And now? Will there be a follow-up date?” I asked. “I haven’t heard from him again. He put his clothes on in the morning and that was it. I texted him and called him twice but nothing.” aiii. Timo had taken it and saw Sab as an easy one one night Stand, I think. Sab was supposed to take home her trophy but when she got home it turned out to be a challenge trophy. And even though I was drained, I may have come out the only winner. I had given Sab her date, and Timo’s gambling pleasures had been spared me. Wind wind!

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