Soof: ‘I don’t want to show myself to my girlfriend anymore and I don’t care’

Sometimes it creeps in without you even realizing it. Black spines on your legs, a gray growth on your head. “It was different five years ago, when I just got to know Joost. I’ve always looked super groomed, but I’m letting it slide now. Even though my boyfriend doesn’t say anything about it, I know he doesn’t like it. And to be honest, I don’t care.”

She looks back on the turbulent single life that Soof led before she met Joost. “I came out of a long, exhausting relationship and when my ex and I decided to break up, I broke up. Like another Soof appeared, a 2.0 copy so to speak. Every four weeks I went to the beautician and every fifth week I was in the hairdresser’s chair. Every day I brushed the scraper over my body and I always rubbed myself with a nice body lotion after showering. Painted nails and good make-up.” So it’s no surprise that Soof had quite a few dates these days, she thought it was a wonderful time that she looks back on fondly.

We are not relationship material

The free life after the suffocating relationship felt like a huge relief. “I’ve done things I’m not proud of, but oh how I enjoyed it. I felt free and liberated and met so many nice people. I decided I would never have a committed relationship again. But then Joost came into my life. A wonderful man who was actually like me: he didn’t need a permanent relationship either. Deceived by his wife, he had become somewhat hesitant. At first we were friends and we constantly told each other that we weren’t relationship material. Little did we know.” The spark jumps and burns the fire of love. “Although I intended not to fall in love with Joost, it happened. A confusing period that ended when Joost told me he had the same feeling. We have been a set straight away.”


The two soon move in together and love each other. They are viewed with suspicion by family and friends. “Afterwards we learned that friends had bets on how long our relationship would last. They thought we were moving too fast and moving in together too soon. I felt that it was all right, and Joost also believed in it. So what were we waiting for? Joost sold his house and came to live with me. We bought new furniture and renovated my house so it truly belongs to us. My friends have completely accepted Joost and I ended up in a hot bath with his friends. We have a really nice social life and regularly go out with others. Everything is just right.”

The look is no longer so festive

What Soof notices is that she no longer makes such a celebration of her appearance. Before she knew Joost, she stood in the shower for hours and had her own spa in her bathroom, now she lets go. “I walked for days in heels, a tight skirt and good make-up. Now I find myself increasingly choosing convenience. That I would rather put on my sneakers and jeans than pull out my fishnet stockings and dress.” Visits to beauticians and hairdressers have also been halved. “Before I knew Joost, I hated it when the first millimeters of gray hair were visible. I quickly made an appointment with the hairdresser. I always pampered myself with the beautician. It wasn’t really necessary because I have naturally good skin, but I thought it was such a treat.”

Black stubble on the legs

When Soof adds up what she needs to spend on care each month, she is shocked. Money that she could better spend on a nice vacation. In addition, Joost thinks she is beautiful, even without make-up and frills. During the relationship, Soof spends less and less time on his appearance and becomes addicted. She used to paint her nails on her feet and hands every two weeks, now she often wears peeling nail polish on her nails. She doesn’t paint her toenails anymore. She has also started to shave much less fanatically and it regularly happens that she has black stubble on her legs. “It seems as if I can’t take it anymore, I just don’t want to look after myself so intensively. Although Joost says he doesn’t mind, I feel his disappointment. When he met me, I was perfect.”

I can no more

Joost still takes good care of himself and does not let himself down. Shave regularly in all areas and go to the hairdresser every four weeks. He also dresses perfectly. “I’m fine with it, but I often can’t make myself look my best. And I don’t care either, everyone should just accept me as I am, including Joost. Still, I doubt Joost really cares. He likes it when I look good and other men look at me. Then he can quickly put his arm around me to show that I belong to him. But then I think, it’s still possible, even if I have stubble on my legs. If I wear pants, no one will notice. However?”


Do you recognize yourself in Soof’s story of letting go? Have you dressed up much more before? Or are you making sure that you are still as attractive and remain as attractive? Have your say in the comments below this article.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

Andrea and her husband Josef are doing very well. They live in a beautiful detached house, have four cars in the driveway and both wear luxury watches. Not the type of people you expect to steal food. “And it makes it even more painful that my husband Josef sometimes still does this,” says Andrea. She tells her story here.

To steal things

“Josef and I live a kind of adventure. We have everything; two healthy children, many good friends and both a company that makes us happy.” The business has been going well for years, and basically everything in Andrea and Josef’s life is going well. “I am therefore surprised that Josef often steals things. No big things like bicycles, expensive clothes and jewellery, but small things from the supermarket. A can of Coke, a bunch of bananas, a roll of biscuits, a jar of tomato puree: you have to think in that order of magnitude.”


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