Have you been with your partner for a long time? How to keep your relationship alive

In fairy tales, couples in love often live happily ever after. Unfortunately, it is too rosy a picture of love. We stare blindly at the ‘perfect’ picture, and this can make a relationship feel less alive. Recognizable? This is how you ensure that it lasts flashed!

have faith

Trust is important in any relationship and above all the foundation. It is not possible to build a relationship if you do not trust each other. You may find it difficult to truly trust someone blindly, for example because your trust in a previous relationship has been damaged. This can even lead to some fear of commitment. If you are already in a relationship without trust, then it is better to stop. You also want your partner to trust you. If you want to start a relationship, it’s best to start with a clean slate. Trust starts with knowing your partner. Who is your partner, what can he or she do and what does he or she have to offer?


to be intimate

Intimacy is often confused with sexuality. Sexuality can arise from intimacy. You can express your love to your partner in different ways. It is actually a kind of language that we speak. It is especially important that you make sure that you are both aware of how you want to show your love for each other. Your partner may have completely different needs than you. Is it for example through physical contact or by doing things together? With physical intimacy, you can think of hugging, holding each other or being sexually active. Talk about it together. Communication is key! Communicating with each other falls under intellectual intimacy, where one gets the sense of kinship through good conversations or discussions. Additional social intimacy or emotional intimacy are variants that you may need. By being aware of each other’s needs, you can grow as a person, but also as a couple.


Making yourself vulnerable


Want to invest

Just as you build a friendship, you also build a relationship with your partner. It just requires time and attention. You have to be willing to want to work on your relationship. You are not supposed to be pulling a dead horse or vice versa. In a relationship it should come from both sides and not one person giving 70% and the other 30%. We unconsciously keep track of how much the other person invests in the relationship. When you find yourself giving more than you receive, it leads to frustration.

You invest in your relationship by making time for each other, but that includes the interactions. Do activities together, such as traveling, cooking or walking. When you’re ready for something else, take a look at what you’ve never done together. Make it an exciting adventure. Not only the activity is important, but also the communication between you and your partner. You increase the bond with each other by being able to talk about things with each other. A bit of attention can sometimes be in very small things. For example, at dinner, take time to discuss each other’s day. This way, you take time to invest in each other and you don’t live past each other.


Bring out the best together

Friends bring out certain sides in you, but also your partner. Which aspects of your partner bring out the most in you? Just think about it. In a relationship, it is important that you complement your partner. Bring out the best in him or her. For example, in a relationship you learn a lot from each other, but also from yourself. You share experiences and knowledge with each other, which gives you a completely different view of certain things. When you’re not feeling well, laughter is the best medicine there is. Humor is very important, because if you can laugh together, you will also find that you feel relaxed much faster. Unfortunately, life is not always rosy. When you are going through a difficult time, you should especially seek support from each other. Helping each other will help you get over it faster. You are strong together!


Grow towards each other

Personal growth doesn’t have to be a barrier to your relationship. It is actually very important. A good relationship stimulates personal growth. You may be very worried that you will both grow in different directions, but you shouldn’t be. Change is part of it. Suppose your partner doesn’t continue to grow, it will also get boring at some point. This also applies the other way around. In order to remain attractive to each other, you must give room for each other’s development. That way you can grow even closer to each other. Give each other the responsibility to get the best out of yourself and your life. Keep growing!


To build together

Build, build and build some more. A process that requires a lot of time, attention and love. Every person and every relationship is different. A good relationship starts with yourself. Know who you are, what you want and what you need from the other. One of the secrets of a relationship is gratitude. Express to each other how grateful you are for each other. This gives your relationship an extra boost.

Be realistic with each other. It may be less romantic, but it is important. Don’t immediately throw in the towel after an argument, because not everything is always sweet and bright. Find out with your partner what works for you and what doesn’t. Everyone has their own dreams and desires. These play an important role if you want to build something together for the future. Above all, ask yourself if you are not hindering each other in certain things. If there is no space to work on certain dreams, the passion in the relationship can diminish. Of course, we would like to prevent that.


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