A few months ago I met a man and our relationship continues to develop. We have a great time together and seem like a good fit. There is one problem though: I don’t like the smell of it. Smell is important to me. It makes me doubt whether this man really suits me as well as I experience further. The infatuation still prevails and means that the problem is not constantly present. Still, I’m afraid it’s getting bigger and bigger. Should I end the relationship now? If so, how do I tell this?
Woman (57), name known to the editors
don’t believe them
Dear lady, no matter what others in this section will try to tell you about pheromones, don’t believe them. Just tell your friend that sometimes you think he smells a little weird and that it might help to use antibacterial soap, dry yourself well, wear clean clothes, and be a little careful about consuming alcohol, cauliflower, broccoli, red meat, onion and garlic. Route. Gerrit den Broeder (47), Dordrecht
Within a minute
In fact, you have already gone too far. I’ve been on a blind date before. I got into his car. I smelled it and within a minute I knew this wasn’t going to be it. You should have. Natasha Butcher (50), Hoogeveen
I think breaking up is very short-sighted. If I were you, I’d hand him a deodorant at a social gathering and say, “Say, honey, I’m sure I’ll love you more if you want to try my deodorant.” Maybe your friend also realizes that he lacks good body care and you regret not telling him much, much sooner. Krijn Schoonderwoerd (65), Leiden
In the shower
A doctor can come up with solutions, but maybe your boyfriend just needs a nice wife. Someone who throws his clothes in the washing machine more often and encourages him to shower a little more often. Men who have lived alone for a long time sometimes find this unnecessary.
Dory Gardenier (79), Grave
Traits: you can get used to them or control or refine them a bit in use. Not a scent. All the fancy shower products or aftershaves really won’t change that.
Carla Foudraine-Beeres (65), Haarlem
You buy a package of odor suppressors and wrap them neatly. Maybe he’ll get the hint right away. If not, he will ask what the meaning of this is. You have then created a good reason to let him know that he stinks. Who knows, he might one day become the most desirable man in your life. Wim Zomer (68), Amersfoort
Washing machine in pieces
For a moment I thought this was a letter from my own girlfriend three years ago. She also didn’t like my smell and even wanted to end the relationship because of this, without clearly stating the reason. What turned out? My washing machine wasn’t quite right, so it was my clothes that didn’t smell so fresh. After speaking to me, the problem was quickly resolved. We are now very happy together, with a refurbished washing machine. So don’t deprive him of the opportunity to do something about this. Evert-Jan de Bruin (41), Leusden
Take a shower or bath together
Give him a nice shower gel or deodorant as a gift and take a shower or bath together. And then give him lots of compliments about how good he smells. Alexandra Benning (41), Haarlem
In two weeks: my ex-husband is obsessed, what can I do?
My ex has been obsessed with sex since the divorce a few years ago. We have two teenagers who notice. They see the messages and pictures of many fleeting contacts arriving on his phone. My ex does not do much to protect the children from this. I have regularly asked if he wants to keep his sex life out of reach of children and leave no trace. Then he promises he will, but it never happens. In fact, he believes there is no problem. My youngest asks why dad talks to women on Tinder. I feel powerless. What can I do? Woman (40), name known to the editors
Our question is: what would you do? Mail your answer (max. 110 words) before Monday 14 November to: email@example.com. Do you have a dilemma and want advice from other readers? Mail your problem (max. 110 words) to: firstname.lastname@example.org. Always state your full name, age and place of residence. The editors reserve the right to shorten contributions.