In the episode Bizarre confession do a reader every week NSMBL -one confession. We’re also trying to figure life out, and it’s not without a fight. Being a young adult? It is sometimes quite difficult. After all, we are all human and each person experiences different crazy and special things. In love with the wrong person? Embarrassing moment on a date? IN Bizarre confession you read stories that are sometimes recognizable, or not at all.
Today you read Bizarre confession from Ise (27).
“I’m still not over my ex after 6 years and it rules my life”
Ise has been separated from her ex for almost six years, but can’t forget him. In recent years, she has continued to think about him and cannot digest that he is happy with his new girlfriend again. She checks his social media channels several times a day and has several anonymous accounts for it. The biggest problem: she can’t open up to a new love.
Hi Ise, how did you end up in this situation? Can you tell us a little more about your past relationship?
“When I was still in a relationship with Daan, I was very happy. I don’t think I had ever been so in love with someone before and the fact that he wanted me too felt unreal to me. Before we got into a relationship, I had my eyes on him for a long time, but I never dared to take the step. I thought he would be too ambitious. At the end of a night out with friends, I ran into him so many times at the Chicago Social Club in Amsterdam. I had already had quite a few drinks, so I plucked up the courage to approach him. What turned out? He saw me too.
The following weeks I was on a pink cloud. To be perfectly honest, the pink cloud never really went away for me. We had a relationship for 10 months, but Daan ended it at the end of those 10 months. He told me he wasn’t in love anymore and that he thought it would be better if we broke up. I didn’t want to seem desperate for him, so I very casually agreed. I thought it would make me more attractive and maybe he would back off.”
But how did you really feel?
“Well, that nonchalant attitude was untrue. I’ve never felt so sad and worthless. At the time, I didn’t really show it to the people around me, because I was afraid Daan would find out about it. Above all, he should have the idea that I was fine, hoping he’d miss me. Looking back on it now, it was incredibly stupid and desperate. But yeah, I was a lot younger then, too.”
How do you feel now?
“So that’s the problem. The broken feelings are gone, but deep down I still have the feeling that Daan belongs to me. When he happily moved on with his life, I found it very difficult. He himself didn’t seem to realize what a mistake he had made, still not.
He has a new girlfriend for a while now. A completely different type than I am. I find that quite strange, because the chemistry between me and Daan was always good. I really want to let it all go, but I feel that the arrival of the new boyfriend triggers a lot. As if it has slammed the door shut forever. I spend a lot more time looking at their Instagram and also think more and more about Daan. I feel like I’m just not over it yet and it’s ruling my life.”
In what way does it control your life?
“As soon as I see one of them on Instagram, it’s in my head all day. I have several fake accounts that I check their accounts with because I don’t want them to find out that I’m still with Zane. It takes time to make these accounts, and so does the creep. I also hate myself for doing it because I don’t mind at all. I don’t want to think about him at all.
I’ve been on quite a few dates over the past six years. But every time I think ‘Daan was funnier’. He affects my life in many ways, which is why I find it so difficult that he just happily lives on as if nothing was wrong.’
*Ise’s name has been changed. The editors know the correct name.