Good communication and intimacy not only keeps your relationship healthy, but also gives you a boost. If you and your partner need help increasing (emotional) intimacy, here are a few suggestions.
Increase intimacy in the relationship
According to dr. Gotmann, a psychological researcher and relationship expert, it’s important to figure out how to “integrate intimacy into your life in an effective way.” Why? Because it helps to feel connected to your partner. This promotes the growth of your relationship.
Below are a few examples.
1. Connect emotionally
Your desire for intimacy is related to how you feel (emotionally). Therefore, it is good to first lay a good emotional foundation if you want to increase physical intimacy. But how does one do that? First of all, be patient, sometimes it takes a little longer.
Try not to hold a grudge or withdraw, but see the positive sides of your partner. Let him/her know what you need instead of saying what you don’t like. Finally, take a genuine interest in each other’s lives and hobbies.
Don’t be too pushy to feel a deep conversation about this, but feel when you both need it. Just being together can be relaxing. Decisive are ‘stress-reducing conversations’: by having time to really talk to each other, you strengthen the relationship.
Also read: Roos: ‘My neighbor turned out to be the man of my dreams, but was busy just like me…’
2. Physical touch
It sounds simple: to increase intimacy, just touch each other more often or initiate more sex. But intimacy doesn’t always have to be about sex. Physical touch and connection are effective ways to increase intimacy.
How to do it: During kisses, hugs and holding hands, the love hormone oxytocin is also released. For example, don’t forget to kiss each other before you go to work or when you get home. It can also help to casually flirt with each other, as you did at the beginning of the relationship. Sending a spicy message already does a lot for your libido.
In addition, there are 18+ (card) games to stimulate contact between each other. Or just train together. There are several training sessions for couples, where you not only exercise, but also connect.
3. Intimate communication
The next item on the love agenda is improving intimate communication. Good, comfortable communication helps your relationship and your sex life, but that is of course easier said than done in many relationships.
To improve intimate communication, it helps to resolve conflicts, speak in the first person when you clash, and stay true to yourself. Recognize where your partner differs in you, don’t judge each other (s fantasies) and discover each other’s sexual side and ask each other these questions to increase intimacy.
Also read: Nicole: ‘We haven’t had sex in a year and a half’
A small way to give your relationship and your partner a positive boost is to be grateful and express your appreciation. Has your loved one done something for you, even if it’s just making a cup of tea? Then say thank you. Or leave a love note. Bet this will make your partner feel more loved?
If your partner is not good at showing appreciation, you can give them a helping hand by gently communicating your needs. For example, say that you like to hear that you look nice. Or that you would like to hear that your partner likes the food you have prepared with a lot of love.
The result is that you grow closer together. Due to stress and everyday life, you may unconsciously distance yourself. This way you can easily make the connection. This kind of love works great for increasing intimacy.
5. Being vulnerable
Sometimes it’s easier to get defensive than to be vulnerable. While the latter can actually help. In this way, your partner will get to know your feelings better. In a loving relationship, you should feel safe enough to be vulnerable.
Still think it’s hard? Then encourage each other to open up and share your thoughts. Be generous in the way you show love, trust your partner, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. And when you have a vulnerable moment, be extra nice to each other.
more partner? Follow us on Facebook and Instagram. You can also sign up for our weekly Friend newsletter.
Source: dr. Gotmann
Photo: Getty Images