Because Sophie (52) and her ex-husband had an open relationship, she had been active for several years on Second Love, a dating site for men and women looking for an exciting affair. For Sophie, it was only lust until she met André in 2020. “I don’t know what it was, but it immediately felt very familiar and natural between us.”
Sophie: “Actually, it was never my intention to fall in love with anyone. I had a lovely open relationship with my partner at the time, and we allowed each other adventures and love partners. For us it was primarily about the kick. We lived together, but also did it with others. And it worked fine for us.
To meet new people, I’ve been dating through Second Love for a while. There I met many nice men who, like me, were looking for a sex date. The intention was clear. It was only about physical contact, not love. And that’s how I felt when I saw André walk by in February 2020. A tall, slim man with beautiful curls. He wrote that he had been married for 25 years and that his marriage was no longer going well. Especially in the sexual area, he and his wife could no longer find each other. That’s why he was looking for an adventure, just for once. Although I felt sorry for his wife, I immediately felt sympathy for André. He looked very sweet and calm, and there was something touching about his picture. That’s why I reacted immediately when he sent me a message.”
“We quickly got talking and after a week of chatting we met in real life. Probably outside our home, about forty kilometers away. Because we lived 80 kilometers apart, we met right in the middle, at a nice restaurant. Before I knew about it, we chatted endlessly. As if we had known each other for a hundred years. I don’t know what it was, but it immediately felt very familiar and natural between us. I could also clearly see that André came from a far relationship. For example, he was a little nervous and said a couple of times that he hadn’t dated in a long time. With his rosy cheeks, he looked like a little boy who was always very shy. And I found that super attractive.”
“We didn’t kiss that night. I wanted to, but André was very polite and only gave me three kisses on my cheek. When we were home, we chatted non-stop, and in the same week we planned another date, this time on a hotel. That’s where we had sex for the first time. We both liked it so much that soon we were seeing each other twice a week. As we were just in the first lockdown, it wasn’t hard to leave home. I just told my ex and André made an excuse that he really had to go to the office. Then we were in bed together.”
Suddenly on the street
“After five months of dating, André’s wife found out. She had read some of my messages on his phone and was furious and upset. Honestly, she asked if he was cheating. André did not deny it. In fact, he indicated that he wanted a divorce and temporarily went to live elsewhere. Not long after, he asked me out. As romantic as he can be, he really used those words. I immediately said yes. Although it had been completely unintentional for both of us, we had fallen head over heels in love with each other.
André made me realize that I myself was no longer happy with my partner at that time. That’s why I broke off my relationship, and for my ex it was a big blow. Although he had at least five girlfriends besides me and knew that I often went out with André, he had not expected this big decision. Angry, he said that I and my three children (they were eighteen, nineteen and twenty at the time and had a different father) had to leave the house within ten days. Unfortunately, I had no right to our home. The house we lived in belonged to him, and then suddenly I found myself on the street with my children.”
“Because I couldn’t find another home so quickly, I decided to rent a mobile home at a campsite. I was there with three young adults. Fortunately, they weren’t upset about my breakup. They had had some problems with my ex, so they were quite happy that I was gone. Even when I told them about André, they reacted positively. “Okay mom,” they said. ‘Do what makes you happy.'”
“Meanwhile, André and I were still seeing each other. He also lived in a campsite, but in a completely different province. And when he got his house back after a month (he bought his wife out) he asked if I wanted to come and live with him. We were together a lot anyway, so it was a waste of money if I stayed at the campsite. I didn’t hesitate for a moment. It felt so good between us, I was 100 percent sure that André was the one for me. And then I moved in with him with my three children.”
“Of course it took some getting used to for everyone – André also has a child – but luckily it soon felt normal. And now all the children live in rooms because of their studies, so André and I have the kingdom all to ourselves. It’s going really well between us. We are still madly in love with each other and according to his friends, André is shining again, something he apparently hadn’t done in a long time.
I also feel really good with André by my side. I never thought I would meet the love of my life through Second Love, but I really can’t imagine my life without him.”
Text: Renée Brouwer
Photographer: Getty Images
Some names have been changed for privacy. The editors know the real names.
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