This week, amid much publicity, the relationship between Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy ended. They are by no means the only ones who see their relationships fail in the summer, but why do more people end their relationships in the summer?
The dating site Relatieplanet.nl states that the number of visits in July this year is already 30 percent higher than in June. “In summer, the biological clock plays a role,” says Relatieplanet.nl. “The days are getting longer and that has an effect on us. People feel more energetic.”
Along with January, July and August are also the busiest months of the year at Lexa.nl. “Going on vacation together is the ultimate relationship test, not everyone makes it out in one piece,” Lexa says. There, too, there has been an increase of 20 to 25 percent in the number of registrations during the summer months.
British journalist David McCandless already looked at Facebook statuses in 2010 and discovered that more people say they are single again in the summer, in addition to spring break and around Christmas.
Then you start thinking, is this the person I want to continue with?
Even if a relationship doesn’t end, people are more likely to look for something new in the summer, figures from dating site Victoria Milan show for cheaters. 70 percent of members have increased their activities recently. There have also been many new registrations since the summer season started, there are 21 percent more men and 17 percent more women.
Psychologist Roos Woltering certainly sees an explanation for the higher number of stranded relationships in the summer: “You go away together on holiday and it can be fantastic. You interact very intensively with each other, but it can also have a negative effect. think about that, is this the person I want to continue with?”
We feel better in the summer, says Woltering. Sunlight causes the production of vitamin D, which in turn produces endorphins, the so-called happiness hormone. “You feel more comfortable in your own skin, you look around more, and it feels like you’re more comfortable in the market.” This gives a new perspective on one’s own relationship, with the possibility of new insight.
In addition, according to Woltering, self-esteem also plays a role. “If you don’t have a positive feeling about yourself, you won’t fall in love with someone else quickly. So as soon as you start to feel better in the summer, it can give a different look.”
Feeling of dissatisfaction
According to relationship coach Leonie Linssen, it has everything to do with the problems of the time. “During the year, everyone is busy with work, social life, leisure interests. This means that people put their feelings aside or they marginalize them. In the summer, for example, this stops because of holidays, and it gives space . As a result, these feelings emerge, and possibly also the feeling of dissatisfaction.”
Expectations are high because there is more time for each other. It should all feel nice and good.
According to Linssen, it is not difficult to hide those feelings for so long. “People with a shopping addiction spend money to make themselves feel less bad. A person who is unhappy in the relationship may fall in love with someone else or start an affair to get rid of that feeling. Eventually, someone will seek attention.”
The holiday also puts pressure on the relationship, says Linssen. “Expectations are high because there is more time for each other. It all has to feel nice and good. In addition, the body also wants to get rid of the tensions it entails. It can sometimes be too much, as you can put a bomb under your relationship lies.”
When you’re in a good relationship, you’re not looking for a possibly better solution. Not even in the summer.
Psychologist Woltering is convinced that people rarely start looking for something else without the idea that there is something better out there. “When you’re in a good relationship, you’re not looking for a possible better solution. Not even in the summer.”
Also, a new crush when you’re still in a relationship can be unclear. Woltering: “Butterflies and love turn off the brain while you have to make some important decisions. Do I want to continue this relationship?”
It is also a short-term choice, emphasizes the psychologist. “You leave a perhaps long-standing relationship with what may be left with a short vacation trip.” Woltering is convinced that the grass is not greener on the other side. “Very green, but not greener. Of course such a summer crush is exciting, but in the end relationships often come to the same point.”
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